- MUSIC: Window Pane -Coil
- QUOTE: "Cake or Death?" -Eddie Izzard
Children's Books You'll Never See
"You Were an Accident"
"Strangers Have the Best Candy"
"The Little Sissy Who Snitched"
"Some Kittens Can Fly!"
"The Protocols of the Grandpas of Zion"
"How to Dress Sexy for Grownups"
"Getting More Chocolate on Your Face"
"Where Would You Like to Be Buried?"
"Where's God at?"
"Katy Was So Bad Her Mom Stopped Loving Her"
"The Attention Deficit Disorder Association's Book of Wild Animals of North Amer- Hey! Let's Go Ride Our Bikes!"
"All Dogs Go to Hell"
"The Kids' Guide to Hitchhiking"
"When Mommy and Daddy Don't Know the Answer They Say God Did It"
"Garfield Gets Feline Leukemia"
"What Is That Dog Doing to That Other Dog?"
"Why Can't Mr. Fork and Ms. Electrical Outlet Be Friends?"
"Bi-Curious George"
"Daddy Drinks Because You Cry"
"Mister Policeman Eats His Service Revolver"
"You Are Different and That's Bad"
Good Country Songs
Get Your Tongue Outta My Mouth 'Cause I'm Kissing You Goodbye
Her Teeth was Stained, But Her Heart Was Pure
How Can I Miss You If You Won't Go Away?
I Don't Know Whether To Kill Myself Or Go Bowling
I Just Bought A Car From The Guy That Stole My Girl, But The Car Don't Run So I Figure We Got An Even Deal
I Keep Forgettin' I Forgot About You
I Liked You Better Before I Knew You So Well
I Still Miss You, Baby, But My Aim's Gettin' Better
I Wouldn't Take Her To A Dog Fight, 'Cause I'm Afraid She'd Win
I'll Marry You Tomorrow, But Let's Honeymoon Tonight
I'm So Miserable Without You, It's Like Havin' You Here
I've Got Tears In My Ears From Lyin' On My Back and Cryin' Over You
If I Can't Be Number One In Your Life, Then Number Two On You
If I Had Shot You When I Wanted To, I'd Be Out By Now
Mama, Get A Hammer (There's A Fly On Papa's Head)
My Head Hurts, My Feet Stink, And I Don't Love You
My Wife Ran Off With My Best Friend, And I Sure Do Miss Him
Please Bypass This Heart
She Got The Ring And I Got The Finger
You Done Tore Out My Heart And Stomped That Sucker Flat
You're The Reason Our Kids Are So Ugly
If The Phone Don't Ring, You'll Know It's Me
She's Actin' Single, And I'm Drinkin' Doubles
She's Lookin' Better After Every Beer
I Haven't Gone To Bed With Any Ugly Women, But I've Sure Woke Up With A Few
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